waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
