Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
