Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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