thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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