So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
