So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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