He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
