I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Randomize
