Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
