He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
