So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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