who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
