Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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