it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
