After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
