Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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