Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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