A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
