i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Come share oat with me in your robe
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
