therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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