I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
