umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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