I can tuck mytits in my pants
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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