I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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