A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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