dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
