Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
