Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
