i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize