we have pet lesbian snakes
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
