i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
