I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize