u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
