Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
