My boss' voice literally gives me gas
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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