last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I see more hoeing in ur future
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