im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Randomize
