I wanna passion pit in your ass
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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