Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
