do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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