your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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