it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
