watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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