if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
