I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
