called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
