god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize