i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
