Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
