Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
