Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
