You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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