I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
