Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
