Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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