dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
