Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
