Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize