Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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