We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Found the puke drawer
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
