I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
