Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
