Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
