He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
