we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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